June 14th

Sun begins to set,

blue skies

make a Saturday evening

brilliant.

Reheated veggie pizza

with a glass

of milk,

enjoying the breeze

humming music

with an indie feel.

Relaxed and pondering

some of life’s mysteries.

Too Late

Below is a writing prompt I did earlier this year for an online writing course.

Too late

She made the decision that she was going to go through with it. As soon as she did she felt as though a 100 ton building had immediately fallen on her shoulders. After that decision, that moment she knew that there was no turning back. Thoughts began to pour through her from every angle. There was no denial. Everything around her showed her what she had done. All that left was pure guilt, anxiety and regret.

She had made the decision not to and because of this there was so much not going to happen. “One small decision did this to me” she thought. Not only that but she knew that when she told him there would be burning questions and this could destroy so much.

This thing that they call stress it causes for many things to go array. Physically our bodies begin to show immediate signs. Sleep is lost. Our mind races and goes through every possible situation (or angle).

It was too late, but she wasn’t sure she couldn’t tell him yet. “How was I going to hide this from him? He reads me like an open book.” her mind raced. This man loved her more than most couples that have been together for lifetimes. She could be crying earlier in the day and not had been crying for hours and seemed bubbly and he would know that something was off. And here she was to put effort into trying to hide this from him when the insides of her were developing hot coals to torment her with and the shadows under her eyes were growing darker because of the lack of sleep.

She was to see him this afternoon. That day she had even thought about going to the spa before meeting him. “Really, that is a ridiculous amount of money to cover up this secret!” she said with disgust to herself. She knew that the best thing for her would be to just out right tell him, but that could ruin everything and she loved him dearly and knew that he had to know. Her stomach fluttered, not with endued excitement like lovers getting together after a long separation but with an overwhelming amount of fear.

They were to meet at their favorite restaurant. It was a date that was long overdue. She didn’t drink and she did’t go to the spa. She did however, take a long shower and pleaded with God that she wouldn’t lose him. She walked up and he was sitting at one of the tables on the patio. He greeted her with the same grin he had the moment he met her and stood up and gave her a breath taking hug and smooch. He then looked at her and with curious gentle eyes and he simply asked “What’s wrong, love?”. All that had been building up in her poured out to him. As she melted into his arms sobbing she told him the truth, the decision she made and she knew it was over. But, to her surprise he looked at her and proceeded with many questions just as she thought but there was no anger in his voice, body language or affection. He didn’t want to leave her, abandon her, but he wanted to listen.

The moment she had made the decision, she knew it was too late. But what she didn’t know was that too late doesn’t always mean you have to lose everything.